Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Reality is relentless

I have been on anti-depressants on and off for the last fifteen years (mainly on). During the summer, when I am not teaching, I will stop taking them to give my body a bit of a rest. I am doing that this, summer, too. I have been off for four weeks or so. What I have noticed is that reality, the actual experience of life, is intense; in your face, 24-7. It is not unbearable, but it is relentless. I could start taking them again for some relief, but I no longer want relief; rather, I want freedom. I know that if I persist, I will learn to live with all of the sensations of life. When I am comfortable in my own skin, I will be free. I guess relentless is how it is going to be from now on. I need to learn how to ride it and not get involved with it; detachment is the word, I await the result.


Anonymous said...

Why should the real life be a contradiction to freedom? Freedom is a set of mind, and also an appreciation of ones work and life. Freedom implies being free to choose, and you choice to do a certain job (in a certain way). If you can't find moments that inspire you when experiencing life, you will not find these outside of the regular life either. I therefore don't belief detachment is the solution, instead try involvement. Real involvement, in which you can find pleasure in the things you do and choose. Only then you will find freedom in the end.

johneglass said...


actually my experience is such that when i detach, i am more fully able to be involved. ironic, but i find that most worthwhile things are.